Lads - as Carousal XXII begins its orgasmic eruption towards a cascading finish, I find myself at a loss. I will be missing my first Carousal since the dawn of this great gathering. I know many of you have been on the other side of this classic event, and I now know of the helplessness that comes with that misstep.

Oh well - I know this annual calamity is in good hands and livers with you all. For those of you lucky enough to be heading to Pismo Beach over the next few days - make us proud. Quaff many flagons of ale, throw many pennies, Frisbees, and bocce balls, but try not to throw up. Be charming at the bar, a whore in the kitchen, a mother in bed. Raise your glasses to fallen Carousers and those (like me) that couldn't pull it together this year. Embrace those moments of youthful energy and moments where there is no responsibility other than buying your pal a cocktail. Revel in it - life is getting shorter and these are the snapshots of a life well-celebrated.

For those of you near and far that will not be in Pismo with your brothers - like masturbation, try and celebrate on your own. Jerk a glass or two of fine wine in the general direction of the Herd and slug it down. Maybe there will be some good GroupMe chatter to get us outsiders a view in. Help us wanderers out, gents!

Does anyone want to bring the Banner? Let me know

I look forward to hearing all the horror stories, and am already in training for 2018 - Carousal XXIII.

Excelsior!